Single Mama Rant

(I’m not even sure I can call myself a single momma anymore since technically I’m in a relationship again…but I’m not married so for tax & blog purposes we’ll go with “single”)

Baby Bee leaves again next week for 10 days at The Drone’s. Yes, again. That in itself is not the issue I’m pissed about right now. It’s stupid, I HATE the idea, but it’s court ordered & for now there is nothing I can do about it. What I’m really struggling with right now is how the mother f I’m going to get him home. In case you didn’t know, plane tickets aren’t cheap. And since Baby Bee is over 2, I have to buy an adult ticket for him. So that’s one round trip for me and one one-way for him. That’s a shit ton of money. I don’t have a shit ton of money. I don’t have a ton. I have shit. Like literally, nothing. No money. Nada. Zilch. And yet, I’m required by the f—ing courts to miss work, fly across the country in 2 1/2 weeks, pick up my toddler & then fly us home. All while NOT RECEIVING CHILD SUPPORT

Yes, you read that right. He’s been ordered to pay, but he does not. He is severely behind and owes a ton of arrears. There is a lien against him. And yet…he’s allowed visitation. Child support & visitation are completely different cases, pursued in different courts. And herein lies the issue I’m pissed about. I have to pay for everything for Baby Bee…clothing, food, diapers, daycare, toys, fun trips we want to take…in addition to rent, utilities, gas, bills etc. And also, a couple thousand dollars worth of plane tickets several times a year. While The Drone pays for….what exactly? I’d say his plane tickets but I’m fairly confident his parents pay for them. So he gets off the hook & gets to play “daddy” for a few days & then sends Baby Bee home & doesn’t have shit to do with being a parent until his next visitation comes around. Occasionally I’ll get a text asking how he’s doing & even rarer he’ll call & try to talk to Baby Bee. But no child support gets sent my way, no new shoes for his ever growing feet, no medical insurance, nothing. Sure, that is kind of what I signed up for when I took the leap into single motherhood, but I naively believed the courts would be on my side. That they would tell him to pay or else. Or at the very least tell him to come to his son to visit, instead of allowing the other way around. I could handle no child support if I wasn’t forced to buy plane tickets as well. That’s just too much injustice, too much financial strain for one girl to handle gracefully.

Today after work, I swallowed my pride & asked The Drone to help out with purchasing plane tickets, or postpone his visit since there was NO POSSIBLE WAY I could swing 3 tickets right now. I knew the answer before I sent the text, but I had to ask, I’m that desperate. Of course, it was the exact answer I was expecting & then he threw in a zinger…”just get the money from your parents” he said.

Oh no you just didn’t.

They pulled 1200 out of their butts a mere 3 weeks ago so I could fly out on New Year’s Day & bring Baby Bee home. Because of me, my parents are in no financial situation to keep buying stupid plane tickets. But since HIS parents pay for all his shit, he just assumes mine can & will too. Obviously, they’ve gone above & beyond for me and Baby Bee but times are lean for everyone. And for him to be so f—ing selfish & vindictive just enrages me. I should be used to this by now, I really should. The Drone has never compromised in the near decade I’ve known him. But in my desperation, every now & then I think that maybe, just maybe, he’ll be human. But no, just a dick who talks big but never follows through.

I’m angry. I’m stressed out of my gourd & I’m sitting with a lap full of bills I can’t pay ($1,000 in medical bills anyone?) in a freezing apartment; so please forgive me for not being the bigger person & for slamming my child’s father on the Internet. Not exactly a mature thing to do, I know. But sometimes it feels good to get the anger out & this is the only way I know that won’t land me in jail. At least I hope it won’t.

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