Good Morning! It’s been awhile since I have written anything, and my soul feels it. I’ve had the crazy urge to write lately, but have resisted because I either don’t have the time, or don’t really have a specific topic to write about. The pull to put my fingers to the keyboard has only gotten stronger though, instead of diminished, so here I sit, at 5:45 a.m., sipping coffee and typing away at a pointless post in the quiet of my sleeping apartment. I don’t really know what I’m going to write, but I just know that I am tired of suppressing my creativity. So I’m gonna go with it and see what happens. Bear with me here.
Work has been pretty tough lately, and there are some pretty huge changes in the not-so-distant future that are going to make it a bit tougher. I come home drained physically and mentally almost every day, and by the time dinner is made, consumed, and cleaned up, and Little Bee is in bed, this mama is D O N E. Then of course there are household chores to be done, bills to be paid, and conversations to be had and time to be spent with my C. This crazy busy schedule of mine leaves little time for me to be creative, or do things that feed my soul. I’ve started getting up a tad earlier to make sure that I have time for morning yoga, but even that sometimes doesn’t seem to cut it. I realized that I’m not creating anything anymore. I’m not writing. I’m not knitting. I’m not making cute things any more. I have pushed away all my creative urges for the sake of survival: more sleep, a cleaner kitchen, one more show and a glass of wine. I don’t think that’s conducive for me anymore, because I end up feeling blocked, stagnant, restless. I handle my emotions and anxieties and stress by writing about them, yoga’ing them out, our pouring that nervous energy into an art project. Lately though, I haven’t had the energy to deal with all that, so I just DON’T deal. And Lawd knows how unhealthy THAT is, especially in my family. So I am making a conscious effort to allow my creativity to come out again. I cleared off the horrid “desk from hell” in our bedroom, and organized it into a cute and functional craft space. All of my supples are in cute jars, baskets and bins within arms reach and out in the open so I am reminded every day that there are projects just waiting to be made.I’m digging this early morning writing sesh right now, so this will probably become a thing too. I’m really toying with the idea of making an inventory of things I can make well, and opening an Etsy. Not necessarily for the money (although that’d be sweet!), just for the sake of creating. Of keeping my hands busy and my mind quiet. For the sake of giving back to myself, and allowing my soul and body to replenish after (or during) a hard, long day. If I am calmer and more settled, than so is my family. If Mama ain’t happy, then nobody’s happy right???
Well, I think I’m about out of nonsense to write about for the day. Time to email Little Bee’s teacher, and start making lunches and all that fun stuff. I hope to be on here more often now, but I’m making no promises. I know myself too well.
Until next time.